b&b136 Create goals and habits that last beyond the new year
New beginnings always signal a reset in our brains – a new job, new city, new relationship, a birthday, and often, the new year.
It’s a time where we reflect on what we wish we did better last year and create resolutions to tell ourselves that this year will be different.
But then we start to read goal setting articles that literally contradict each other.
Do we start small, do something in moderation, or go big?
Do we start waking up two hours earlier every morning or listen to our internal clocks?
Do we tell our friends about our goal to hold us accountable or keep it to ourselves?
Gretchen Rubin of The Happiness Project has created personalities (we call them “Habit Personalities” on the show) that can help you filter through all the noise and decide what will actually work for you.
Much like our Money Personalities, these Habit Personalities will guide you through how to create habits and goals that work for you so they last long after new years resolutions are usually forgotten.
Pam: First I wanna actually talk about the top goal in 2016. It wasn’t losing weight. It wasn’t paying down credit card debt. It wasn’t getting organized or whatever it is. It was living life to the fullest. Vague as fuck, right? …2017, the top resolution is ‘be a better person.’
Pam: We were excited to find Gretchen Rubin’s four habit personalities…The first one is the Upholder, and the Upholder is the type of person who responds to both outer and inner expectations. So, they’re people who do what others expect from them, and also what they expect from themselves. Upholders are the type of people who find it fairly easy to change their habits. I don’t really know many people like that…The next habit personality is the Questioner, and the Questioner needs to have a justification to meet an expectation. So, they need to know exactly why they’re gonna do it. They only follow their inner expectations. Everyone else around them could tell them “You should go gluten free, you should eat paleo, you should save more money,” and if they don’t have a reason to stick to a habit, then they’re not gonna do it. They need to know why it’s actually gonna be good for them, and they need to internalize it…The Obliger is the third habit personality, and they are the ones who need outside motivation. They are okay with letting themselves down, but they don’t wanna let somebody else down. So, they’re the ones who are like “I need to tell you I’m gonna do this, and you need to hold me to it,” or “You need to ask me about this every day,” or “I’m gonna post a picture online of me running.” …And people don’t even need to directly hold them accountable so much as they know that someone might be looking…The Rebels are the fourth habit personality. They’re the ones who resist all expectations, both outer expectations and inner expectations. They wanna do what they want. They wanna do it their own way, maybe sometimes to their detriment. They need to have choice and freedom within their habits.
Pam: We believe that [habits] are the foundation for actually being able to accomplish your goals. So, your goals are things like wanting to run a marathon. They’re things like wanting to hit X number of revenue this year. Or to quit your job, or whatever it is. And so habits are the system that you put in place to be able to achieve the goals, whether or not they’re directly related to the goal itself. But will put you in a space so that you can have the head space, the mental space, and sometimes even the physical space to be able to achieve these goals themselves.