Maybe it’s the last thing you want to talk about, maybe it’s the first thing on your mind when you meet someone, and chances are one of you feels one way and one of you feels the other.
Talking about money is never easy. We were never taught how to talk about it without feeling like we were telling a secret, crossing a social line, or airing dirty laundry.
Talking about money with your significant other is revealing a part of yourself that you’ve been taught to keep hidden for your whole life.
Sharing your financial life feels like uncovering mistakes you beat yourself up for that sit in your credit card balances, stirring up feelings of inadequacy you’ve been able to tuck away as each paycheck replenishes your near empty bank account, asking to be judged by someone whose opinion you value the most, and wondering how the future you want to have with this person can ever happen with what you have now.
No wonder you don’t want to talk about it!
In our Valentine’s Day show on Bondfire Radio, we talk about the different money stages a couple goes through, from dating, to getting serious, to moving in together, to getting married.
We answer questions like:
- What kinds of subtle cues can you pick up on in the first few dates with someone?
- Do you know what your deal breakers are when it comes to your potential partner’s finances?
- What can planning a vacation together can tell you about your partner’s values and money habits?
- What should you talk about before you move in together and how do you start to combine your finances?
- How do you approach your partner if they don’t want to talk about it?
This conversation is not going to be easy, but if you approach it with compassion and humility, it will remind you why you love each other in the first place.
Being completely vulnerable and transparent about your money with each other will take your relationship to a level of empathy and closeness that you haven’t had before. It’s like the final relationship frontier (right after farting in front of each other).
Dyalekt and I will be airing a Part 2 on love & money on 2/28 on some of the practical stuff when it comes to combining your finances, sharing income and expenses, and talking out things daily.
Let’s make the money conversation one that brings you as a couple together instead of breaking you apart.